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After the Boom – Children by Choice Not Circumstance

Mom Putting Baby In Pram

The baby boom still resonates in our society. So much has been said and written about the boomers, with constant speculation about what they will do next. With so much attention centered on them, and especially on their numbers, no one gives much thought to the women who were responsible for them—their mothers.

These were the women who grew up during the depression of the 1930s, coming of age just as WWII was ending—women who would be in their seventies or eighties now. They were in their twenties and early thirties when soldiers came home from the war, yearning for stability, ready to marry and settle down. These young women were unknowing recipients of new and constricting expectations, some imposed by a society tired of self-denial and war, and some imposed by corporations capitalizing on a nation’s desire for the safety and comfort of family.

They responded to these expectations with enthusiasm—buoyed by the sudden surge of prosperity and the thrill of materialism. With no readily available method of birth control, they became mothers of 3, 4 or more children. Little did they know they would be the genesis of a population wave that would become the largest and most auspicious generation ever. It was as if someone had fired a starting gun: nine months after the end of the war, in 1946, 3.4 million babies were born, 20 percent more than in 1945—more births than ever before. It was the beginning of the “baby boom”, and the onset of a trend which was to last for over fifteen years.

Here they are: the amazing numbers

In 1947, another 3.8 million babies were born; 3.9 million were born in 1952; and more than 4 million were born every year from 1954 until 1964, when the boom finally tapered off. By then, there were 76.4 million “baby boomers” in the United States. They made up almost 40 percent of the nation’s population.

A report in Wikipedia (Post–World War II Baby Boom) states that family size increased sharply throughout the baby boom, with the average woman giving birth to 3.09 children in 1950—a number which increased to 3.65 children born per family by 1960. The peak was in 1957, when the figure stood at 3.77 children per family! Between 1940 and 1960, the number of families with three children doubled and the number of families having a fourth child quadrupled.

In 1960, women having 4 children became the norm—there were, of course, families with fewer than 4 and families with more than 4. It was not unusual, in some communities, to see families of 6 and 7 children. As mothers of so many children, they paid a price—can you imagine the physical demands of giving birth so many times, not to mention the hard work involved in caring for young children and keeping up the immaculate homes society seemed to expect?

A collective sigh of unhappiness

Who were these women? While much attention is given to their offspring, not much is said about them. What were they thinking as they played Russian roulette with unwanted pregnancies each month, as they stood in the wings, waiting for a sea change that would alter the course of their lives, perhaps give them a chance to be more than baby machines?
But they needn’t have worried—forces completely unknown to them were already at play. A nurse by the name of Margaret Sanger was devoting her life to finding a safe method of birth control. She and her associates were quietly developing a method, so powerful and effective that it was to revolutionize the entire spectrum of family life.

If you scan back to the quote, you will see a telling line. That one line “when the boom finally tapered off” is a clue to what happened next. In 1957 a pill ostensibly developed for menstrual disorders and infertility was marketed by G.D. Searle under the name Enovid. On May 11, 1960 it was approved by the FDA for use as a contraceptive.

It changed everything. Within seven years of its availability, 12.5 million women across the western world were taking the pill. Forty years later, it was 100 million. The number of children per family came down to one and two. In her 1963 book “The Feminine Mystique,” woman’s advocate Betty Friedan, pinpointed this phenomena, arguing that the suburbs, where middle class America had congregated to raise their ever growing families, were “burying women alive.” Her book unleashed a wave of dissatisfaction, contributing to the growth of feminism, and all of the repercussions that followed.

The idea that a woman’s primary reason for existence was to bear and rear children was finally laid to rest. Women, suddenly freed from the biological tyranny of having one child after another, began to go back to school, or into the workforce. The ‘nuclear‘ family, as it was known throughout the 1950s, with dad going to work as the sole provider, and Mom staying home to do the nurturing, was no more.

A new and puzzling trend

In retrospect, we can’t help but wonder what it was all about. Was the entire baby boom just a random event prompted by the return of amorous soldiers and post war affluence? Did millions of women sacrifice their youth and health to satisfy the agenda of corporations? Or was it a human response of optimism and hope in a population finding expression in the comfort and safety of the suburbs?

Researchers tell us another population explosion is on the horizon. A new generation, the millennials, are abandoning birth control in favor of having larger families, although this population wave is fueled by immigration and wealthy professional parents.
The mothers of the baby boomers, having large families not by choice, but by circumstance, will blanch at this trend—why would women have families of three and four when birth control is at their disposal?

But this time, it’s a much happier scenario. Many of these older mothers have already had a professional life, and the desire for children seems to come from a different place—personal expression, and a love of children.

28 thoughts on “After the Boom – Children by Choice Not Circumstance”

  1. My mother didn’t have any trouble using a diaphram for birth control. Even though she was Catholic, she wasn’t about to have more than two children. (I’m pre-boomer, of course.)

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      She went off the grid, I think, to use the diaphram. I knew Catholic women who didn’t dare do that in those days! However, there were lots of checks and balances for those who were determined to limit their families, and I think some were more enlightened than others.

  2. A wonderful, interesting, article which as a person born in 1949 gives a wonderful perspective to the circumstances of my childhood. It makes me think of my own mother and the repressive social conditions she had to deal with while enjoying improving financial and personal circumstances.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I’m so glad you appreciate the difficulties of her life. So many other things I didn’t even mention—wearing high heels while doing housework, girdles, not being able to get credit without husband’s permission! But yes, economic conditions were better, that’s true!

  3. What an interesting and well-researched post, in which you pose several thought provoking questions. What was the meaning behind the boom in childbirth–hope, cultural dogma?

    “The Pill,” did change everything. Too, the topic of birth control being population control and therefore a public health issue in addition to a personal one is often overlooked and under debated.

    I enjoyed this post very much. Well done.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I think that the time was right economically. People suddenly had prosperity, and yes, it was a little about hope, and cultural dogma. And women got sucked in, big time!

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Mostly, I wish young women could appreciate how far we have come, and that they are the beneficiaries of their grandmothers’ sacrifice.

  4. I’m a product of the affectionate term “the special one” – somehow my parents managed to create me when I was obviously not expected to be created. My mother was 48.1/2 years old when I was born (1951)…4 years later they sold the farm and moved into semi-retirement in the township…

    They made the 4 offspring – now only 2 of those offspring are alive, the oldest who happens to be 24.1/2 years older than me, who will turn the princely age of 90 in August!

    I was in my 20s when Mum/Dad left this world…which of course as I have grown older have made for difficulties – never imagining that medical professionals would want answers, as no close siblings to ask (said sister above, had long flown the nest and had her own family)…

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      It seems that you were left with the responsibility of looking after your parents, and you were much too young for that! That had to be a very hard time for you.

  5. Felt you were writing about my Ma, who married at 35, and had things worked out, would have had 7 kids in 8 years. Those who grew up during the depression and war have always had my utmost respect. All the lads Ma knew survived the 30s to get killed in the war. Thanks Diane.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      My mother had 7 children in 16 years—but she did survive to re-gain her health and live to the age of 94. I have often felt bad that she gave her best years to look after us, and didn’t have the chance to get an education, which she longed for!

  6. As I see it, just as there are two “generations of baby boomers, my group, born in the period of roughly 1946 – 1949. (Okay, maybe there are really three), those born in the mid-50s and finally those at the tail end ,in the early 60’s. Their mothers, the last boomer moms, are now in their late 70’s, and are vastly different than “our”moms who had “us” early boomers, and are have passed on. I have a sister-in-law who as a matter of fact, turned 55 today. Her mom is only 9 years older than me and has more in common than with me than she ever had with my mother, who was born in 1915, and had my brother in 1958

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      So interesting! My own children just missed being baby boomers, and were born instead as part of the dreaded generation X, who had nothing, no jobs, no grants, no resources. Seems like you came from a large family, as did I.

      1. Actually no, I only had two younger brothers, however we were each born five-a-a half years apart. One for each of the boomer phase I mentioned in my original reply. As a result I also have two nieces, one a Gen x and the other a Millenial.

        1. Still the Lucky Few

          It’s not clear to me if your parents spaced their children so far apart on purpose (how, with no birth control?) or if that was just happenstance. Congrats on having a wonderful extended family!

  7. This is an informative, interesting piece. I appreciated the clear-eyed look you provided of the boomer mothers and the circumstances that shaped them. It made me appreciate the choices and opportunities I had as I move out into the world; choices and opportunities that were denied my mother.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I’ve been intending to write about this for some time, and am glad I finally addressed it!

  8. As usual, a thoughtful and richly-drawn essay, Diane. Thanks.
    My mother had four kids. She is still with us at 91. Over the weekend, we had a family gathering in a beach town five hours north of her home. My husband and I took her with us to the rendezvous. Although she is physically more fragile now, she is as “with it” as the rest of us. At one point, she said, “I didn’t like being sent home from my job when the men returned from the war, but now I look at you kids as my career, and it was all worth it.” I felt she was reaping a rich “pension” in that we all look out for her, visit often, call, and share our lives with her. And I feel humbled that the fact of my existence should give her so much pleasure.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I like the thought that she considers her career as her life’s work. My siblings and I knew that our mother, who lived until she was 94, valued her children above all else. Loving her was a small payment for her years of devotion and sacrifice!

  9. I was only 10 yrs old when WWII ended. I’m not a Boomer. I thought Boomers came along a decade after me. Given my age now I would think Boomer mothers would be in their late 80 to 90+ years, not younger than me and in their 70s. 🙂

    I think Boomer mothers/families were more prosperous so felt they could afford more children plus people viewed the future with optimism. I dont think any one reason like this predominates. Perhaps the Millennials are viewing their lives and future with optimism, too.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Hi Joared, The first Boomers were born just after the war, and the last ones in 1960, but some say 1963. The oldest Boomers are now 70. A Boomer mother, if she was 20 when she had her child in 1946, would be 90 this year. So you are correct and I am wrong, math never being my strong suit! Thanks for this! They were more prosperous, and certainly more hopeful. I think some Millennials are very well off today, given the large tech salaries they receive. but I doubt they are very optimistic in how they see the world.

  10. yeahanotherblogger

    Another eye-opening essay. You often raise and discuss issues that don’t get a lot of play elsewhere.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Thanks, Yeah. I love opening up new issues, and am constantly on the search for them!

  11. Very, very interesting information about the Boomers and their mothers and the Pill. I have never seen the information presented quite this way – very effectively. My parents never stopped making me aware that they were children of the Depression, but it never occurred to me to think about the size of our family (3 kids) or that there could have been more or fewer children and what effect more children would have had. Thank you for this thought-provoking information.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Well, Dr. Rin, I sort of lived through it, so you could say much of what I wrote was about my own experience. There are some advantages to getting so old!

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