Skip to content

What if Ageist Thoughts Were Prison Bars?

ageist thoughtsThere you are, twenty-nine years old, planning your thirtieth birthday celebration, and the thought runs through your mind, “I’m getting old, tomorrow I’m going to be thirty.”

And suddenly, with a thud, there’s a steel bar lying at your feet. You think, “What’s this?” But you get used to being thirty, you are actually having a good time. And you don’t think about the steel bar— it just lies there.

A few years later, you notice your first grey hair. Hmmm, you think, my grandmother went grey at a very young age, by the time she was forty, she was completely grey, and by the time she was sixty, her hair was white. “Oh, Gawd, what if I have those genes?” In a flash, the second bar goes up, right there on top of the other one. But you ignore it and it just lies there too.

Your hair doesn’t go grey, and you go on living your wonderful youthful life, having a great time.

But with each birthday, you get a little closer to forty.

Every time you think of that number the dread arises, and another bar goes up. Sometimes the thought depresses you, and several go up in one hour. They are now up to your knees, and you have to make an effort to step over them.

Then you go through a period when the bars go up at warp speed. Twice in one hour, you forget why you came into a room (Am I getting Alzheimer’s?) Wham, another bar.

You’re on the golf course and you barely make it up the 6th hole. (Oh, no, I feel so old, next time, I’m going to have to get a golf cart.) Wham, another bar goes up.

You are getting your hair cut. The stylist says, “Should we start thinking about some color?” (Yes, yes— you don’t care what color, just hide it!) Two bars go up.

And one day, your boss looks at you in an odd way, and very slightly shakes her head. (OMG, She knows my age, and I’m about to get laid off!) Wham, wham, wham, the bars are up to your chin, and now you can’t get out.

You might as well sit down and get comfortable. You look around for a rocking chair, and place it in a strategic place where you can at least see through the bars.

Not much here. Not much to do. But you try to make the best of it. After all, it’s your new home.

And you built it all by yourself.

30 thoughts on “What if Ageist Thoughts Were Prison Bars?”

  1. One of my current concerns. I am a retired Nurse and 78 years old and for a very long time have been aware of age bias, both personally and in the workplace. It was not until my husband passed away 3 years ago did I realize how the perception of aging influences our own ability to reinvent yourself and begin again at any age. Advertising is directed at my age group specifically re burial insurance, medications, safety alarms and my favorite, “what should we do with Mom?” So, it took me awhile to realize I was on my own. I joined a writing circle and met some like minded people who are now friends and we have started doing our readings in a performance called “The Not Yet Over The Hill Gang” It is our small way to bring awareness to the process of aging.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Thanks, Marcia! I believe we have connected on Facebook. I think you are in the process of creating a Facebook group, and am looking forward to more news about it. Keep up your wonderful work. It is so important—we over the age of 70 are the most ignored demographic in the media. It’s time to change that!

  2. I don’t have my head in the sand but don’t feel that way at all.

    A little more LEVITY (which you are so good at) next week please.
    P.

  3. I’m afraid I’m not that worried about image, and I’ve never wanted to be younger than I am. If we take ourselves too seriously we have a lot more problems than just our conception of aging.

  4. Well said, Diane. And all the more powerful now that we know that our expectations of old age (useful? healthy? wretched? sick? cheerful? lonely?) influence reality as self-fulfilling prophecies.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Thanks, Rachel. Our current expectations of old age are off the mark, in my opinion. We don’t have to be defined by the negative attributes assigned to us. And yes, we can be useful, healthy and cheerful, as many of us already are! It’s the media that sees us mostly as wretched, sick and lonely. That is changing, thankfully!

  5. reading the latest story in AARP re reinventing yourself as you age, I thought great, finally some common sense, unbiased info, for us older folks. I had to laugh and mourn as I realized their growing older segment was targeted at the 50 – 59 year old population. Are you kidding me? I still think of them as kids. Where’s the upbeat, realistic positive info for the over 70 crowd? From all the targeted advertising one would think it is all Depends, Burial insurance and how to best provide care for aging family members without having to worry too much about them setting the house on fire or falling down the stairs. How about some realistic articles re getting into the best shape you can be, how to stop acting like you’re fifty and see some ways life continues to offer opportunities for growth, love and learning. One would think AARP is not too interested in the real population that is aging, just a certain segment available for the marketing of anti aging products. A reality check is in order, there’s a lot of us out here that would like some positive and practical info. re fun

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I’ve attempted to do this, Marcia. But there is so much left to do! The over 70 group, like you and me, are overlooked and under appreciated in every aspect of life—especially in the media. I even get annoyed when the over 60s are mentioned. To me, they are just beginning the journey.I’m encouraged by your comment. It gives me focus!

  6. yeahanotherblogger

    Life’s tough, more so for some folks than others. But I believe that most people keep their chins up and do the best that they can.

  7. a lot of my acquaintances have put bars by me – often the words are “why are you doing this?” and I usually say “because i can” but then they either avoid me or are even more curious and want to be nearby.

    one of the hardest things I have come up against is having (no starting a career) in my mid 50s which didn’t quite get off the ground because of ageist certain type of gov’t depts!

    But now in my mid 60s is well on the way to something that is going to shock a few right to their very own “set of bars” – more later when I have many more things in place!

      1. I just reached the 60th mile stone few days ago. Beginning to think and realize that I have travelled thus far in my life journey. By God’s mercy I wish I have a peaceful independant life. I would love to hear from this forum and be a part of it.

  8. Happy Birthday Firoza, this is such a helpful blog, you get to share the journeys of others who comment, and learn from the excellent blogs of The Lucky Few, I am enjoying it and it is comforting to realize we all have common worries and hopes for our future.

    1. Thank you Marcia. Looking forward to reading the blogs and also contributing. Being more active will be on my agenda this year God willing. Developing patience and learning to accept life as it flows will be the other aspect that I would love to improve.

Comments are closed.

© 2024 Diane Dahli All Rights Reserved | WordPress site by Quadra Street Designs