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How Giving Gifts at Christmas Evolved—a (Very) Short History

It’s almost Christmas, and you don’t need me to tell you its one of the most intense times of the year. You may have already ordered the turkey, and started on the tree, but your to-do list is still as long as your arm, and you have no idea how you are going to get it all done. Worst case scenario, you like many others, are still scurrying about looking for the right gifts for those special people in your life, which puts gift giving right at the top of the list of seasonal stressors.

It’s true that giving gifts is a universal way to show interest, appreciation, and gratitude, as well as strengthening bonds with others. Lately, however, this part of Christmas celebrating has been criticized for being materialistic and over-the-top.

While extravagant gift exchange may be cooling and possibly falling out of favor, it’s important to realize that the very act of gift giving is a major part of celebrating the holidays, and can have significant psychological benefits.

How does buying and giving gifts affect us?

Psychologist Devin A. Byrd, chair of Behavioral Sciences at South University — Savanna, has studied gift giving, and says:

“There is the whole act — determining what needs to be given and making sure it fits with the person, There is an emotional lift when searching for the gift.”

It’s true—there is an enormous sense of satisfaction when you find just the right item for someone, and see their delight when they open that gift. And for many of us, me included, it’s far more pleasurable to give a perfect gift than to receive one!

Defined as an unselfish concern for other people’s happiness and welfare, especially when we give without expecting anything in return, buying and giving gifts makes us feel good internally, and has some extrinsic benefits as well.

People who are in the habit of giving do so all year round, but it’s no accident that charitable donations increase significantly during Christmas—some people feel genuine joy, and choose to share it with others by giving gifts. Others feel extremely fortunate, and feel empathy for families who do not have enough, so they buy toys for children and drop off parcels of food—all to ensure that low-income families have a happy Christmas.

When did charity at Christmas start?

Christians tell and re-tell the story of the three wise men (the Magi) who, according to the Christian New Testament, delivered gifts to Jesus on the first Christmas—it’s the mainstay of every Christmas pageant. But focusing on the poor during Christmas was a particular concern of Charles Dickens, who prompted people to remember that there are bigger things in life than their own selfish interests.

Susan Coyne, who wrote The Man Who Invented Christmas, a play about Dickens’ famous book, The Christmas Carol, believes that Dickens always brought a social consciousness to his work. She says:

“What Dickens wanted was for us take it upon ourselves to be more generous. That we should lend a hand, that we must care for others—it’s a beautiful message. And it really did change the way everybody viewed Christmas.

So if we are stirred into feelings of generosity and benevolence at Christmas, perhaps it translates into more than buying and giving gifts for people we know and love.

Perhaps we, like many others, will be prompted to double our efforts to give to others—those in need, or neighbors we don’t often see. Treating others the way we would like to be treated is elevated at Christmas. It could be the influence of spiritual teachings, or it could stem from literature and stories emanating from the past. Or it could be simply that “the spirit moves us”—or, if you wish, you can call it ‘the spirit of Christmas”.

“I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver.” —Maya Angelou

“That’s what I consider true generosity: You give your all and yet you always feel as if it costs you nothing.”
— Simone de Beauvoir

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill

23 thoughts on “How Giving Gifts at Christmas Evolved—a (Very) Short History”

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      A wise and enlightened approach, Barry, and one which will provide more satisfaction than an number of physical gifts. Thanks—I always enjoy your perspective!

  1. I tend to tune out Christmas because it has gotten out of hand — the joy goes out of it if there are too many people on your list. I give quietly during the year and savor the experience.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      All commonsense people (like you) eventually wake up to the waste of time, energy and material that goes into the gift-giving practice, especially if it is done on the fly, when people are rushed and can’t give it thoughtful attention. Giving throughout the year, when the hype is gone, is a good way to go.

  2. I really enjoyed reading this post, Diane. I love choosing gifts for family and friends, always searching for the “Holy Grail”–a present that is special because it answers the thing I especially cherish in someone else. As for gifts received, my husband and I are at that stage when winnowing things down feels more liberating, so we make a list each year of orgs we’d appreciate donations to and pass that around to the family. That helps to pad out the donations we make during the year for the environment, animals, refugees, civil liberties and other crucial causes–so much need in the world, and sadly not enough income to address it all. So using holiday gifts from family both saves us from finding nonexistent space for one more “thing” and helps heal the world at least a little. Much happiness to you for the holidays and all good things in 2019.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      When you choose gifts thoughtfully, taking the time to purchase exactly the most appropriate gift, you are bound to give something that will be used and appreciated. So true about the gifts you receive—people in our age group are all faced with the dilemma of what to keep and what to dispose of—we don’t need or want more stuff!I like your method of directing donations to organizations—very forward-thinking!

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Obviously I was reflecting what was uppermost in my mind when I wrote this post! I’m struggling with how to cope with my own stressors over Christmas, and hope that my ruminations helped! All the best to you over this season, Donna!

  3. Good post Diana.

    I realize we’ve simplified Christmas to the essentials (as we see them.) That’s because the children are in charge of their own homes. When they were babies we were in charge of celebrations and they too were simple. when they were toddlers we were still in charge and again they were simplier. I remember making Christmas wrapping paper with them, the excitement of opening yet another advent door, singing, etc. But when the children were young and in school the outside influences added so many layers along with my own running lists, business, school, etc. It was less fun for sure and relaxing wasn’t even a tiny part of it. Whew……back to basics. Had fun at a caroling party yesterday. So relaxed and happy.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      So glad you are enjoying a simplified holiday season, Alexandra! I have such happy memories of Christmas when my children were young too—and yes, things did change when the world intervened and I could no longer control everything! But that’s okay, since I’d never have the energy to do all that I did so long ago! We can all relax now!

  4. I’m lucky in that I don’t have that many people in my gifting circle, so the pressure isn’t that widespread. But that still doesn’t stop me from worrying that I have the wrong gifts, or too few of them. Time to chill, I think, and take your good and timely advice 😊

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      So nice to hear from you Clive—Glad that you are checking in! I agree that the stressors around gift giving involve not only scoring a good match, but also giving the right number of gifts, spending too much or too little, and so on, and so on. I’m relieved that I’ve completed my list, and wrapped them so I can say I’m done!

      1. As I said the other week, Diane, I usually read your posts even if I don’t always comment! Well done for finishing – I think I’ve bought all I’m going to but am awaiting deliveries. Not even started wrapping yet!

        1. I discovered, (or shall I say copied) an efficient way of wrapping lately. You need to buy as many inexpensive Christmas gift bags as you have items from a Dollar store, and several sheets of tissue paper. All you will need now are scissors, scotch tape and some name stickers. Loosely wrap the item in the tissue paper, attaching only one or two pieces of scotch tape, place it in one of the bags, and stick a label on one of the sides. Voila, no fussy fitting of the item, no ribbons, etc.! If you try it, hope it works for you!

          1. That sounds like a great idea – I wonder if we have anywhere in my small town that will sell those bags. I did look for small bags on Amazon the other day but they were quite expensive, so I dropped the idea in favour of a big one each. Now I have to decide how many gifts to wrap and how many to just drop into the bag!

      2. Many years ago, I stopped giving or expecting gifts during our equivalent festival, Deepavali. My family and friends consider me as an eccentric old reprobate and put up with me. I think that it has become highly commercialised with massive advertising during the season and a sense of guilt is created in people’s minds if they don’t give gifts. It is this conclusion that made me give up.

        1. Still the Lucky Few

          I agree that holidays and festivals have become very commercialized, and that is unfortunate and a great loss! People, once they realize they are being manipulated, don’t want to participate, and look for other avenues to expressing their love.

      3. A short gift less means less stress. As a result I have actually enjoyed my Christmas shopping this year. I know this is not a one-size fits all solution but it works for me.
        Alphie

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