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Is Living In The Moment Harder As We Age?

Woman living in the moment

It’s a difficult thing to do—this thing we call ‘living in the moment’. The call of the future is powerful. It constantly distracts us with thoughts like, “What should I do next?” and “Okay, I have finished this, now I should do that.”

And the call of the past is equally demanding, with its thoughts of, remember when you did this and that, and how happy or unhappy that made you feel.

The enlightened people, the ones we called hippies, made a big thing about ‘living in the moment’ during the ‘70s and ‘80s. In fact, I got a little tired of people who went on and on about their ability to detach themselves from the demands of society, to be non-conformists, and Zen-like in their daily practices. They were hip and “cool”, smoked marijuana, listened to psychedelic rock and prided themselves on saying much by saying little. ‘Straight’ people like my friends and I used to laughingly call them ‘navel gazers’, as in people who sit around contemplating their navels. Their message of ‘dropping out’ out was completely lost on us.

But now, I can see they really had something. They knew the value of listening to their inner thoughts and tapping into mindfulness, a state they defined as being aware of your body, mind and feelings in the present moment. They claimed they were able to quiet their minds and create a feeling of calm.

So, in an attempt to answer my own question, “Is living in the moment harder as we age”, I can only speak for myself, and I would submit, that yes, it is.

What we are fighting, as we try to live in the moment, is the minds’ tendency to flit to thoughts like the demands of our jobs, or even mundane daily chores. We may be consumed by stress, or even acute boredom. We may be lost in frantic doing, or wallowing in its opposite, stagnation. We may daydream of prosperity, and the promise of freedom that it brings. Or we may be longing for love and acceptance, and the happiness that brings. I think that as we age, these stresses accumulate and may become more acute.

People who think that time is passing too quickly and feel they may never accomplish everything they wanted to do are especially vulnerable. As they age, these people feel that the experience of living in the moment will bypass them completely.

The desire to live in the moment is elusive and tantalizing. It may be possible that it can never be achieved. But still, if it is true that living in the moment will endow your life with deep meaning and satisfaction, then it is understandable that people long for that state and will go to any lengths to experience it.

I like to play with the idea of living in the moment and think I’m getting a little better at it. I’ve learned to gaze around me, when I have a moment to spare—not worrying about the future—not dwelling on the past, but just putting my mind on ‘hold’. That’s as close as I am likely to get to living in the moment, and I’m good with that.

21 thoughts on “Is Living In The Moment Harder As We Age?”

  1. Lots to think about here!
    I find that “the moment” as I age is filled with very challenging situations, so part of balancing that is remembering, and looking forward. Luckily, all of my life, “the moments” presented themselves from time to time, so I know what they look like, feel like, and when one shows up I take advantage of it. A pure “in the moment” experience that lasted a long time is probably available to those with dementia, not keen on going that route.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Haha, Your last sentence about the ‘pure living in the moment’ experience is priceless. Thanks for giving me a chuckle this morning!

  2. I’m taking a class on “attention,” the premise of which is that if we pay attention to what’s around us from sights to sounds and smells and more, we will be living in the moment

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      No, CM, in your case that’s certainly not it! Maybe you have reached an enviable state of enlightenment…hmmm, lovely thought.

  3. interesting snippets of “moments be it living or not” kind of the “how, where, why, when” kind of living through to “are we there yet?”

    I have periods of time named “marking time” which is what I’m doing right now. Yes, I’ve still being creative, eating and sleeping with a snippet of household chores – but I lot of “doing nothing” is taking place. And yes some thing hit my world, not serious, just need to “sit still” “doing nothing”

    Cheers Catherine in wintery New Zealand

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Catherine, ‘doing nothing’ is never really doing nothing. There is always lots of thinking and ruminating going on behind the scene. I believe that ‘doing nothing’ is sometimes a wise course of action. It quiets us, and gives our problems time to simmer and become solved without our intervention.

  4. Great question, Diane. I agree with your that it is more difficult to live in the moment as we age.
    Like you, I can experience moments of this, and grab on to them whenever I can, as fleeting as they are. I find that this balance works for me.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      And it’s really about striking that balance, isn’t it? It’s all part of our journey.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Wow, you really are in an enviable position, Derrick! Especially having put the past in perspective. So many people have difficulty with that.

  5. Interesting to read your post today Diane, as I have just been telling my writing group about the two terms I attended ‘The School for Self-Knowledge’, the premise of which was exactly the kind of mindfulness you describe. These days, I tend to walk around reminding myself what are the next three things I intend to do, but they are all very immediate actions, so I guess that does count as a kind of staying in the moment 🙂

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Actually, I think that our intentions tend to pull us away from the experience of living in the moment, since they are really about the future. Once you have done those things, you clear the field, so to speak, and that may leave you freer to live in the moment.

  6. Actually, I find it easier as I really don’t have to worry about anything. I am however privileged in that I live with my son and daughter in love and don’t have to worry about anything.

  7. Interesting post. I’m with Rummuser. I find it easier to “live in the moment” now that I don’t have a job to worry about, don’t have any more career ambition, the kids are grown, my income is reasonably secure with SS, Medicare and an IRA. Also, honestly, I don’t think about the future (why would I?) and while sometimes I stew over the past I usually snap out of it, because it’s over and done with.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      If you have lived a good and honorable life, and I’m sure you have, then you have no worries about the past either. And you are right, the past is over and done with. Speaking only for myself, accepting my past is an important part of becoming wiser as I age.

  8. I find living in the present much easier now that I’m older, no longer working or pressed with family responsibilities and planning for my future. My future is here, day to day. My past doesn’t get in the way but offers a mostly pleasant occasional reflection.

  9. Still the Lucky Few

    Thanks, Joared. I still plan for the future, hoping to have one (!)
    Your comment is so wise, and shows that you have given it some thought. Only those who have made their peace with the past can claim that they give it “mostly pleasant occasional reflection”. I like that!

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