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Our Emotions in Turmoil in a Tough Time

It’s been a tough year. Tough on the world, and tough on our emotions. Like me, you may have been waking up each morning, with an unsettled feeling that things are not quite right. The news is all around you—you know what has been going on and you can’t escape it. What can you do about it, you wonder—how can you help?

You might also be a bit resentful about it, thinking, “Haven’t I already contributed enough? Haven’t I done my share? Isn’t it time I could just sit back and enjoy my last years?”

But the world nags at you. You hear about the struggles in Syria and Iraq, and the agricultural crisis in Africa. You hear about global warming, and how politicians ignore the warnings. You read about the coming revolution in automation, and worry about how future generations will find work, or even survive. You are urged to be concerned, contribute money, raise awareness, send out good energy, and above all, be well informed.

You read about elders who are out there cutting chain fences to ward of fossil fuels, who take their turn raising money for refugees. You listen to the news and learn that your health system had a close shave and you need to contact your representatives repeatedly. You hear about ageism, and how you must not just sit in your rocking chair for fear that you will be thought useless and old. Because you’ve just read somewhere that the fight has just begun, and it is up to elders to save the world.

So what does this do to us? We end up filled with guilt, misery and worry, all of the elements of anxiety. It settles in our minds and hearts, and the danger is that it will lead to depression and affect our health. Maybe it will help if we understand what is really happening:

The roots of anxiety

According to psychologist Gregg Henriques, depression and anxiety are emotional signals that our psychological health is not ideal and our needs, as they are reflected in the life we imagine for ourselves, are not being met.
If not treated or relieved, depression “creates a nasty, vicious spiral of shutting down, doing less, feeling more isolated, turning against the self, and thus getting even more depressed”, often resulting in social isolation, inaction and procrastination.

The Danish philosopher Kierkegaard (1813-1855) argued that anxiety is part of human nature. Anxiety arises when what we hope for and what we actually have, come into contact. In other words, the present touches the future. When the ideal and the actual are too far apart, people feel hopeless, and believe they can do nothing to change their circumstances. They become immobilized, losing their strength and power, and their freedom.You can read more about Kierkegaard here.

This is my simplified version of the roots of depression and anxiety. and how they impede our “greatest task in life”, which is to become who we are.

When trying to understand the emotions that drive us, we look to the brain, the center of anxiety and stress. Being connected socially, psychologists tell us, is vital to human survival. The area of the brain that monitors social connectivity is the Ventral Tegmental area. It requires consistent dopamine release, and a healthy balance of serotonin and norepinephrine. This is the homeostasis state.

Why our citizenship is so important

Billi Gordon, in his research in functional neuroimaging makes the case that citizenship is a form of connectivity, and as such, has left many American citizens feeling disconnected socially and stressed out since the election. In attempting to explain how this stress affects us, he offers this description:
Stress, he says, disrupts homeostasis and requires allostasis to restore equilibrium, or balance between our internal and external environments.
Allostatic stress, is the response mechanism that is vital to human survival—the fight or flight response. It can be compared to car brakes, and like car brakes can become dangerous when overused, and can go from being protective to destructive, causing allostatic load.

Dr. Steven Brownlow, Licensed Psychologist and owner of ADEPT Psychology in Texas says this about sustained stress:

“It’s important to understand the relationship between acute daily stress, and the bodily response it elicits, and the chronic stress that results in an allostatic load that wears on our mental and physical health…Worrying and ruminating keep stressful emotions operating long past the point they would normally have stopped, which makes your stress system work overtime.” 

Why we need to figure this out

Billi Gordon likens our collective state of mind to being in a war zone. He says:

“If we do not figure out how to share the earth and the wealth, among ourselves and with the other species, as well as recognize that we live within the biosphere of our planet, not on it – we will not survive.”

That’s an ominous warning, and we struggle to find ways to cope. Speaking only for myself, I do what can. I stay in the game. I keep on reading, and listening.

And here’s more:

I avoid arguments about politics—if required to discuss something,  I proceed cautiously, careful of what I say.

I find a niche where I can contribute, mostly through my writing, and contacting my representatives.

I put a filter between my psych and bad news, treating my mind and feelings with kindness and respect, careful not to overload, or self blame.

I nurture my soul and my body. I meditate, trying to find peace in every moment.

My responsibility is to stand by, and wait for the times I am needed. To stay healthy, and independent. To use my psychic power to send energy to anyone I love, and the world.

And I remind myself that there’s always hope…Miracles happen every day.

29 thoughts on “Our Emotions in Turmoil in a Tough Time”

  1. I am fortunate enough to be living with my son and daughter in love who care for me and ensure that I am very comfortable. That makes for a stress free life for me while I see many of my friends in different situations with children living away from them. While there is little evidence of stress, there is plenty of loneliness and longing for the children and the grandchildren. Some have gone through depression and come out of it and a few left this world with it.

    As I age, I realise the reality of life and the need to accept many things over which I have no control or influence. I also have to accept that my energy levels are not up to handling the rigours needed nor the physical agility to navigate. The key word being acceptance. Once that has been achieved, one simply gets on with living within one’s limitations and abilities.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I’ve always admired your wise and upbeat attitude, Rummuser! It comes from a very good place. Accepting things that are against our control is the hardest thing for some of us, especially since the realities are so harsh.

  2. I have a different point of view. I believe that seniors 50+ need to speak up more and get their own voice registered in this society that is not very kind to this particular cohort. In order to succeed more seniors will need to consider these 3 things which cannot be accomplished without facing a lot of anxiety that they are not use to.

    The 3 things that I have found in the research for my Seniorpreneur Project are as follows: Before we start our NEW retirement lifestyle we need to be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually elevated bringing us more confidence and self-esteem.. Secondly, we need the courage to take some risks. Your not going to fall of a cliff if you pursue some changes in your life to have more fun, more excitement and hopefully, more prosperity. And, the last item that often challenges seniors to their limit is that we need to learn something new. Lifelong Learning will be the most important item for you to get to know more about yourself, new technologies and how to best function in this new information society. Yes, anxiety & depression takes a great toll on seniors that are transitioning from their many years of living a stressful corporate life to even a more stressful new retirement life. However; with relevant retirement planning NOT only from your financial adviser, you will see new career & business opportunities that will make your retirement life the best that you be

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I totally agree with your view on life long learning. Never before, however, have we been called upon to learn skills that are so drastically different from what we have been used to! You talk about the new technologies we need to learn in order to function in this new information society—and I’m not sure many of us are up to the task! Sure, we can learn how to use and adapt to the new tech we need in our everyday lives, but when it comes to actually working in this environment, not so much.

  3. I taught classes, led a group on stress management, emotional aikido, etc. for about ten years after we retired. I don’t know how many, if any, other people got anything from what I taught, but I practiced what I preached. It’s down in my bones now. Centered, creative, and constructive. No wasting energy on things I can’t control.

    Learn to share the world with other species? I will answer that in a post in the near future.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I like your “3-Cs”, and I believe that I incorporate them too. But I’m still prone to worry, even though I know how futile that is!

  4. I don’t get up in the morning and think “what bad news is there today…”

    Rather, I get on with whatever was going to rock my boat today – am I staying home like today and getting on with my artmaking; yesterday I had to be ready at 9am with my take-out-knitting; tomorrow I need to take some library books back.

    I don’t think of going out to save the world, I don’t think “how will this news affect me”…

    Rather I think, if it does (& I’m not looking for it) I will go with the “flow”…

    there is saying in NZ “I’ll cross that bridge when it happens”….

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Well, I like that saying, Cathy, but in these times, I don’t really agree with it. We are living in an era when we are being forced to have a world view, whether we like it or not. I think the time is past when we can just be complacent and not get involved. But you have a right to have your own view, and I respect that. Thanks, Cathy.

      1. But I’m not complacent!

        I just can’t see any point to it…I think about when I was growing up – plenty was happening – the end of both the depressio & WW2 (the fact my father was actually in WW1 and lost his leg: shot and gangrene) – people just got on with living … however hard it was.

        My Dad was allocated a war allotment farm – a hilly back country, covered with gorse etc. He couldn’t ride a horse & motorbikes hadn’t been invented for farm work – he walked all over this farm, clearing the land…He raised his 4 children on it, he sold it when I was 4 years old (I’m one of those special after thoughts)

        I born with a lot of problems (Mum was nearly 49 when I was born) – I wasn’t expected to reach adulthood but somehow I did… I grew up with elderly parents, old enough really to be my grandparents so life wasn’t all that great. I couldn’t run about like other children and I was often very sick…

        so now that’s in my mid 60s and still alive, M/Dad died when I was in my 20s – I am more than ready to “just get up and do whatever rocks my boat”

        It doesn’t mean I don’t think about the future, or the problems – it’s just I don’t need too (sorry if that offends you or your other readers…)

        1. Still the Lucky Few

          No offense taken, Cathy—your comments are very welcome. I’m on an “awareness” kick right now, but I’ll no doubt ease up on that in time!

      2. “We are living in an era when we are being forced to have a world view, whether we like it or not.”

        Sorry, Diane (Dianne?), I disagree. I’ve always been interested in having a world view, that hasn’t changed with the years. And I don’t think that means everyone should share my interests. Cathy is contributing a lot to my life by doing her art and sharing her life with me. Her paying a lot of attention to the problems in the world would be a distraction from her calling and would rob me of joy.

        1. Still the Lucky Few

          It’s Diane. I agree that artists do better to focus on what they do so well—interpret their experiences through art. Since I’m not an artist (except minimally, through writing) I am choosing to be very connected to the events and situations of our current world—for now. The “We” I use is meant to be general, like the “royal we” (haha). In the past, I’ve been a dreamer. Being so engaged in what is happening in the news is hard for me.

    2. I have lied (on morning ritual), I just remembered what I’m actually doing when I’m finally sitting with my coffee in the morning – more or less every day (except for recap day) I’m listening to a podcast. It’s happening every day this year and it’s short and inspiring…

      Look up Side Hustle School – either on the website or through i-Tunes…

  5. I tried leaving this earlier but it is still waiting for moderation:

    Commitment and practice. Plus a lot of humility. You say, “it is up to elders to save the world.” No pressure, right? On a more cheerful note, if Snoopy can’t save the world, maybe no one can.

    You talk of the downward spiral leading to depression. You might like The Upward Spiral.

    Good luck!

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      The reference to ‘elders saving the world’ was a tongue in cheek comment. I’m afraid our time to make a huge impact has come and gone, but I do believe we need to stay engaged, and make a contribution in whatever way we can.

  6. Someone who is 10 and someone who is 16 are both children and it would not occur to any of us to have the same expectations of the 10-year-old that we have of the 16-year old. Yet there is a tendency to talk about elders/seniors/old people as though everyone from 50 onwards is the same. But we are not. We are constantly changing.
    As with childhood, there are stages of elderhood. Each stage differs in terms of what we can achieve and there are also individual differences in our progress through them. At 53, I walked across the Grand Canyon from North Rim to South Rim but now, at nearly 81 I rarely walk more than 3 miles in a day.
    I’ve been a political activist since my twenties and attended more rallies than I can count. I’ve blocked traffic, ripped up GM crops, dodged police, waved posters, marched… Nowadays, I stay home. I donate to causes I believe in, sign petitions and I write. And I practise what David Nicol of the Shift Network calls ‘subtle activism’ i.e. joining with others in global meditation.
    I think it is important to stay involved with what is going on in the world but the way we do it is going to keep changing as we age and we must tailor it to our ages and abilities and adjust our expectations of ourselves – and each other – accordingly.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      I’ve been retired for almost 20 years, and during that time, have changed in physical abilities and mental outlook. One constant has been my awareness of what is going on in the world. When I look back at the early years of my retirement, I am astounded at the changes I’ve experienced just in the means to be engaged and communicate. We were in the very early stages of the internet—email was in its infancy! So who knows what communication challenges will be open to me by the time I reach my nineties! (which I hope to do!). Great comment, Marian. I admire what you have done in your life!

  7. I think keeping what’s going on around us in perspective is important — what and how we can affect matters of importance to us — do we want to — recognizing limitations of our actions. Certainly not feeling compelled to make everyone think as we do makes interacting with others of different views interesting and an experience not to be avoided. I believe it’s easy to feel overwhelmed in today’s world due to the fast pace of change but attitude can make a difference. Leads to our thoughts and language.

    I recall reading Dr. Hans Selye, the “father of stress” years ago who wrote of stress being an acceptable response, but only a problem when it became distress. Seems as the topic became a popular subject the term stress became the focus when distress is what is the concern. I think the language we tell ourselves — in our heads — serves to strongly influence how our bodies will react in many of our life circumstances. Changing our thinking about many situations can help our outlook and coping mechanism with health benefits .

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      As always, Joared, what happens in our bodies begins in our heads! I do remember hearing about Dr. Selye’s ideas about stress, as opposed to distress. So many people think they have no control when they feel stressed, but that’s really not so! Thanks, Joared.

  8. Yeah, Another Blogger

    There’s a lot to digest in this piece, Diane. You bring up many good points.
    My feeling is that older people aren’t all that different, in many or most cases, from adults in other age brackets. Anxiety, depression know no age barriers. Finding balance and fulfillment are what most everyone is (or should be) seeking, I believe.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      You’re right, we are not so different, are we? But I do think, if depression sets in later in life, we may not have the time we need to recoup, and that’s a problem.

  9. I needed this, Diane. First you described me; then you explained my feelings; then, by describing how you cope, you gave me ideas for controlling those feelings. Thank you. I needed your words and wisdom. But, still, I worry about the world my grandchildren will inherit.

    1. Still the Lucky Few

      Grandmothers do worry about how our grandchildren will fare in this new technological age. I’ve written about it in other articles and will continue to address it in future posts. I know some readers think these references to the future of automation are negative, but I believe awareness is never a mistake. Thanks, Aunt Beulah.

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