I hear it everywhere—“Time just flies by!”“Where has the time gone?” It’s a sentiment I hear more and more among people around me. And I feel it too, especially at this time of year when there are extra things to do. Three weeks ago, as I sorted through our Christmas decorations, I had the acute sense of having done this only one or two months ago.
The perception of time speeding by makes me feel uncomfortable. It draws attention to my lack of control, bringing regrets that I have accomplished so little, and giving me a sense of urgency that I need to do better with the time I have left.
Researchers and psychologists are not kind to those of us who feel that time is rushing by. They suggest that we are too grasping, that we haven’t learned to accept our limitations. They point out that we display classic Type-A characteristics, and say that we risk cardiovascular and other health problems. They call it excessive time-urgency, claiming that we keep our body at high anxiety and stress levels. At the core of this is the suggestion is that we do all of this by choice.
Actually, I accept responsibility for my own personal ‘time-urgency’. I admit that I’m the one putting pressure on myself—making lists, always being rigidly on time, seemingly never completely ‘at ease’. No one is cracking a whip, demanding that I do more.
But that is not the total picture. It’s probably only a superficial impression of the real me. In the past, I have cultivated mindfulness and have had a measure of success in meditating and increasing my awareness. I have practiced being more ‘present’, teaching myself to take a step back in the middle of stressful situations, and striving to maintain my ‘center’ and equilibrium.
I also tried to understand my habitual sense of urgency, accepting that as a second child in a large family, I learned to be ultra-responsible at a very young age. In adulthood, I chose a demanding profession, teaching, where there was never the satisfaction of completion, and always the possibility to ‘do more’. Whatever the origins, this is what I am left with—a pervading feeling that time is flying by at warp speed.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, as I do now in this period of seasonal demands, I go back to practicing mindfulness. Here are some ideas from Krisin Wong (Life Hacker, December 03, 2015) She suggests:
Free up your schedule to allow a few minutes to focus in the morning. Instead of jumping right into the day, give yourself at least a few minutes in the morning to slow down and take in the day.
Schedule an activity at the end of the day such as meeting a friend, taking in a movie on television. This will force you to leave chores that you would usually work on until they are ‘finished’. It forces you to shift gears and slow down.
Leave yourself open to doing new things, learning something new. Giving yourself new memories and new experiences will get you out of autopilot and help you change your perception of time.
l’ll leave you with a selection of quotes that caught my attention as I was researching this piece. Most significant for me, among all of these wise words, was a quote by Orson Scott Card, who said, “Time flows through all lives equally.” It made me rethink my perspective that I’m always running out of time!
I include the last one as a cautionary tale of how deeply and profoundly some people are affected by the passing of time:
I blinked my eyes, and in an instant,
decades had passed.”
John Mark Green
“Time is passing : not leaden stepping
But sprinting on winged feet,
Quick silver slipping by.”
Richard L. Ratliff
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.”
Michael Altshuler
“The most beautiful moments always seemed to accelerate and slip beyond one’s grasp just when you want to hold onto them for as long as possible.”
E.A. Bucchianeri
“Time flies, whether you’re wasting it or not.”
Crystal Woods
“I feel an overwhelming rush of sadness…I’m just struck with a sense of time passing so quickly, rushing forward. One day I’ll wake up and my whole life will be behind me, and it will seem to have gone as quickly as a dream.” Lauren Oliver
Wonderful collection of insights about the slippery and fleeting nature of time. And we definitely feel the “press” of passing hours as we begin to face the finiteness of our life. But, I do believe that the ever-increasing rush of the modern era (contrast it to the life of a farmer in 1900) presses us all to do more and more in less and less time, leading many to depression, extreme stress, and worse.
Stress is definitely a precursor to depression, and I know people who suffer from it. The pressure of time may be a factor in at least some people. I always say I’m too busy to feel that way, though! It’s all a question of knowing how to handle stress. Thanks for this, Amy!
Great entry! One of the happiest days of my life was when I took the watch off my wrist for the very last time.
I think I might have been classed as a type a during my academic career, but when I left that environment I read what I wanted to read, and I stopped wearing a watch.
If I need to be somewhere, meet some time of timestamp on an activity or appointment, I write it on the calendar, which I check every morning, and on the alotted day I set a timer to alert me as to when I need to prepare for the occasion.
Great life strategy! I don’t wear a watch these days, but my iphone is ever present…Must admit, it keeps me on a treadmill of sorts!
What an interesting way to break free from schedules and deadlines. Good move!
Don’t waste your time on activities you find are not right for you. Focus on your inner thoughts and your wisdom to take the right actions for any situations that come up in your life. Until you get to your own finish line enjoy the precious time your lucky enough to have on this Earth. Don’t complain. Be humble and grateful as a senior that you still have the time to give something back to our society for all the blessings that you’ve already received. Merry Christmas and a very prosperous 2020 New Year to everyone in this group!
What beautiful sentiments, Joe! I know you practice what you talk about, through your blog and your service to others. Happy Holidays, and have a wonderful 2020!
A wise post, Diane. I too have found that the luxury of being retired has enabled me to manage my time to my own rules. When real life intrudes – usually in the form of hospital or doctor appointments – I can feel the beginnings of the anxiety and stress that led to my period of depression. But I can now see these as being necessary to allow me to continue doing things in my own way. That is not a luxury afforded to everyone, and I am grateful for it.
A less than serious additional quote for you, which you probably already know:
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Have a relaxing and peaceful Christmas.
I’m still giggling about your joke. Just what I needed, thank you Clive!
It’s definitely ‘giggle fodder’!
Thanks, Rachel. If only I could claim it as original!
New to me 👍
Good words, Clive. BTW, I used every bit of self control at my disposal not to use the ‘banana’ quote!
Thanks, Diane. You clearly have more self control than I do 😊
Haha
I’ve certainly simplified my life – but seems to get me now, is that my health has got a tad unbalanced (healing but not fast enough) and the list of “to do” can’t be accomplished easily. I had to rejig what can/needs to be done…and still now a couple of days before I’m required to dress nicely and be ready for pickup. I put on the strides I planned to wear on the 25th and they need some attn but now there isn’t time to deal with that…probably doesn’t matter, but it’s the feeling that if I had tried them on a couple of weeks ago, I may have dealt with the issue…
I agree—Everything seems to take a little longer than it used to! Gone are the days when I was able to rush around and accomplish a multitude of things in an hour!
Oops! Try again.
For us things take a lot longer than they used to, but we’re at peace with that.
I haven’t had a To Do list in years. Instead I have a Possibility List, things to do if I get in the mood. Mostly we’ve simplified our life enough that it works. If we have appointments we need to go to we put sticky notes on the calendar. I figure my only job right now is to be as healthy and happy as I can be so my daughter doesn’t have to worry about me, and so she can see that her life can still be rewarding even when she gets old. Actually very old. I’m now 80, and that’s officially we switch from old to very old.
My priority is my health, and I spend more time walking and working out than I did a few years ago. Part of the time suck involved in my exercise routine is the question of getting to my daughter’s house (where she has a small gym in her basement), and driving back. I do it religiously because I know I wouldn’t be as effective on my own! But it’s worth it, since I am remaining in very good health. It’s very important to pass on healthy attitudes about aging to your daughter, as you do. After all, many ideas of how we age comes from our parents!
I am perhaps fortunate for having escaped that. I live a very structured life and so have no problems with not finding time to do anything. On the other hand, there are occasions when time seems to hang heavily on my hand due to unforeseen circumstances. Let me illustrate. The regular newspaper delivery boy has taken some time off to write some examinations. The franchisee himself is delivering them and finds it difficult to do the job and so the papers are delivered about an hour later than usual. Being used to starting to read them an hour earlier, I find the one hour in the mornings rather uninteresting.
Well, Rummuser, there are a lot of things to fret about, that’s for sure. By way of example, I switched from coffee in the morning to tea. However, I don’t like tea without milk. This morning I’ve run out of milk. So until I can make the trip to the store, I’m going to feel quite put out! Thanks for your anecdote—cute!
Time does, indeed, flow equally for everyone, but perceptions, as you well know, change with age. Those researchers and psychologists must be very young 🙂
Their perceptions will change when they become old. But, regrettably, we won’t be around to say, “I told you so!”
I esp. like your advice to get out of autopilot; and also to schedule something at the end of the day. I play table tennis on Monday nights. It’s my favorite day of the week.
It’s great to have an activity to look forward to. The trick is to have the energy to follow through, I find! Tennis is a terrific sport, for your heart and your balance. Watch those knees, though!
“I blinked my eyes, and in an instant,
decades had passed.”
John Mark Green
Hi Diane. All the quotes that you included are all too true. Time flies!
Christmas, and memories of Christmases past seem to bring those sentiments out. In the New Year, though, it will be time to be more forward-looking! Good to hear from you, Neil!
I guess it’s something that we all experience as we grow older, and more of our life is behind us rather than ahead. I am enjoying growing old, with my gratitude overflowing for all that I have enjoyed in my years. The quotes were really fun to read and ponder. 🙂
What you say about more of our lives being behind us is true—I seldom think about time that way, but it IS true! Thanks, Djan!
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