So, you have decided to move. If you haven’t moved a lot in your life, you might think, “Oh, this will be easy. I’ll just get some boxes, a black felt pen, a roll of white paper, and start packing!” But, if you have moved a few times before, you’ll know there’s a lot more to it than that!
Your first task is to locate a business that sells boxes. When you get there, you will be asked how many you want. Estimating that number will be the first of many decisions you will have to make. The boxes you buy will come in neat, flattened bundles. Gone are the days when you could scrounge around for a random collection of boxes in all sorts of sizes and for all sorts of uses.
Your next challenge will be what to pack first, and what to set aside for those first days in your new home. That may seem like an unnecessary step, but it is an all-important one, requiring another set of decisions. Imagine how much more organized your move will be if you know where to find the items you need as you begin to set up your new home!
It’s a given that moving demands a lot of physical and mental work. But that’s only part of it. The hard part is what comes next. And that involves your emotions, especially if you are older and have many years’ worth of possessions. You will most likely be faced with parting with items that have a deep emotional significance. They may be connected to important events and people you have known and loved in the past. Letting go of things that remind you of loved ones who are no longer with you can be a wrenchingly emotional experience. Giving up some items that connect you to them, things that you should have discarded long ago, but never could, will be especially hard.
If you are moving from a home with memories of raising a family who have now grown up and moved away, the all-important step of sorting through your things, and discarding them or giving them away can be very difficult. Don’t be surprised if you experience sadness and a strong sense of loss.
If you have moved frequently, you already know that moving can be an intensely emotional experience, and you will be braced for it.
People who have moved a lot and experienced these feelings before, will be better prepared to anticipate the intensity of this experience and find ways to alleviate the sense of loss. If you are a new at this, you should consider asking family and friends to help you through this phase of your life. You will likely find that most people understand the difficulties of moving and can be very supportive.
The underlying issues involved in moving your home are complex and stressful. Housing and moving are filled with emotions, The hope for new beginnings, the possibility of crushing disappointments, loss, anxiety and fear are only some of the reactions you may have.
Moving when you are older, and especially if you haven’t recently moved, will present you with additional challenges. You may be shocked and unprepared for the fallout. My next post will address some of these issues.
Hi, Diane – I’ve just counted and I have moved 19 times in my life (some of these were smaller moves, but I still counted them). You offer excellent advice here! I hope that all is well for you. I look forward to your next post.
Yes, Donna, I am well and getting back into the blogging world. Finally! As you might have guessed, I have moved (twice) recently, and can say first hand, how disruptive it is. More to come!
I’ve moved a lot as well, but downsizing from a house to a condo was the worst of the bunch. Everything that could, went wrong and the last straw was finding my wedding dress – which had fallen out of one of the wardrobes the movers had packed – stuffed inside a jam cupboard. And this was a large International Company, not just 2 clowns with a truck.
I’m sure there are clowns in every business. Too bad your wedding dress fell prey to two of them. Loved your comment!
I lived a nomadic childhood due to my father’s work. I actually counted them all (in my childhood and my own married life) a few years ago and there were 48!!!
my dad was military and we had it down to a fine art. I never minded the actuals of it. BUT… I found out… that the last few moves I’ve made were Hard on me! just plain ol’ Physically Hard! I’m 76 now and I never want to move again! I just don’t have the stamina for it anymore. and I have very little stuff compared to most people. I’ve always lived very lightly. still it’s the Ohter things! UGH!
my brilliant little mother always packed a special 1st Night Box! it held fresh clean sheets for each bed. and favorite snacks. and other things I can’t recall at the moment. but it was a mark to her skill in making us feel at home in each NEW place!
Good luck in your own ‘new’ place! xo
Your mother was a brilliant mover! People in military families had to have it down pat, just to survive! I moved twice (I may have already said that!), in the past year, and , like you, I never want to move again. For me, it was the mental adjustment to the move that had me mentally exhausted. I live lightly as well, but it doesn’t seem to make moving any easier!.
Hi Diane, Happy to see your post and especially pleased to see the topic as I want to make a move to a small town and consider that our retirement home. I retired a few months ago and have given myself a year to rest and only then to make decisions about the future. I have moved several times over the years however we have been in this house nearly thirty years. I have read a few articles about moving when one is older and the challenges involved, especially moving to a new city and even a new state which is one of our considerations. My husband and I are not physically up to some of these challenges which is a major concern. In addition, he now does not want to make a move so that is a real issue. The real estate inflation has created another issue not only for us but for many folks. Thus, we are on hold. I think there are many themes of relocating including the physical, emotional, financial, and social issues which one needs to consider. I am in a real dilemma. It’s likely the move will not happen which surfaces other types of emotions and adjustments to my goals for retirement. I am glad this is a topic for discussion.
You have some very important decisions to make. When faced with such a dilemma, It is best to put things on hold, as you have done. It sounds as if you have considered all of the angles, and may have to postpone a decision until there is some clarity. All of the issues you mention are extremely important. Sometimes it’s best just to wait!
Thanks for your feedback. I am sitting on it; or what you are calling waiting. What adds to the challenge is we have “too much stuff!” I can see this is a popular topic!
Moving from one home to another is always unsettling. If it requires having to get rid of certain items you’ve owned for a very long time (like children’s artwork, or the old rocking chair that was so much loved when the kids were infants), it can be fairly traumatic. We moved in 2017 from the house in which we raised our children. Even though we were actually moving to a slightly larger home, I realized it was time to do some purging because our next, and final, move will be into a small senior apartment somewhere. Not to say that we didn’t still manage to drag along some totally useless stuff (like that fancy china I simply couldn’t part with even though I almost never use it), but we did a pretty good job. Our current house has very little clutter, and nearly all of what we have now will fit into any senior apartment. I’m also happy to know that when I die my kids won’t have to deal with a lot of my crap (well, except for the aforementioned china).
Sounds like you are applying a lot of common sense to this issue. It is enviable that you have reached a point where you have eliminated so much unneeded stuff. It will all be easier now. Kudos to you!
I have lived in 31 homes in my life. Please read all the comments to see I had one missed when I wrote the post. https://www.rummuser.com/number-of-homes-in-my-life/
I think you have set a new record, Rummuser. I’m impressed that you have survived, and maintained your good humor! Moving makes me cranky, but I think you approach it in a more even frame of mind. I can imagine you being quite philosophical about it-more so than me!
Just the word Move generates shock and awe. Most common awareness jolts me to confront my pandemic idleness and the more daunting is thoughts of stepping outside to a different lawn. All previous comments resonate. We have lived in our current home 25 yrs. We own another small home located where the children were raised. When I moved here everyone was off to college or otherwise located. Now all have resettled in their hometown and want us to return with our precious grandchildren as an added bonus. Sounds easy, right? Wrong!! We love and miss them but are only 4 1/2 hrs. away. But. Getting older (old) challenges. We have so many friends and involvements to leave but that ‘used to be home’ and some friends remain. Even First World Problems stymie me.
Unfortunately, when we move, we take all of the complications and problems of our lives with us! Some people swear that a radical change like a move will change their lives…for the better, they hope! But that’s almost never so. Change has to be from the inside outwards, not the other way around.
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