Seeing Things from a Different Perspective

Now that it is a new year, it seems a good time to expand our horizons. That might involve embracing the perspectives of other people.

When you see things from a different perspective, you perceive a situation or understand a concept from an alternate point of view, such as that of another individual.

Often, when you have a difference in opinion with someone else, you are encouraged to ‘see the world from their perspective’ or see it through their eyes.

A vast amount of scientific literature suggests that perspective-taking is crucial to human development and may lead to a variety of beneficial outcomes.

But think about this, if you are able to accept someone else’s vantage point completely, will that really help you to know how they think and conceptualize the world?

The question is whether considering another person’s perspective makes you think or feel closer to that person, or in other words, understand that person.

Listening and seeing something different from what you already believe requires mental courage. Some might feel attacked and vulnerable when the views of others are different from their own, especially in what they consider as an important matter. To them, seeing another point of view which is totally different from their own might mean invalidation of themselves. They might begin to wonder; does it mean I was wrong all along? Does it mean I am wrong in other things I’m not admitting to myself?

I think these fears prevent us from listening and seeing others’ point of view.

Most people do not or cannot see another’s point of view because they have been socially conditioned into believing that ‘more than one perspective’ would mean that one perspective would be correct, and all others would be automatically wrong. They believe that there can be only one way of looking at things.

But being able to see things from a different perspective says a lot about a person. It is a sign that the person is more open and magnanimous. I think that the ability to see things in an alternate way is a sign of having higher levels of emotional intelligence, and nothing to do with a person’s intelligence quotient.

For example, I have two close friends, whose approach to a difference of opinion is unique and individual.

One friend, Janet, has been in my life since we went to graduate school together during the 1990s. We have had our ups and downs during our long friendship and have developed a wary respect for each other. I understand that she has an unspoken need to win, and, when a discussion becomes too intense, I simply back off and change the subject. In cases when the issue was a problem that had to be resolved, I have stood my ground, and been the unfortunate recipient of her scorched earth policy—an unpleasant outcome! So, when a passionate issue is at stake, I simply make my escape.

The other friend, who I have met only last year, Cynthia, is a retired teacher, with a long history of finding the middle ground. We have lively and lengthy discussions, during which we can explore a variety of subjects without a disharmonious note. A visit with her leaves me feeling invigorated and renewed. Unlike my experience with Janet, the goal is to have a friendly discussion, not to win.

We can have openness, debates, an agreement to disagree, all in the spirit of friendship, cooperation and community … all these strive towards a spirit of agreement and the mindset that each one of us is unique and therefore our individual views can be very different.

Seeing things from a different perspective can also come from a place of empathy. This helps us acknowledge the individual and creates a sense of understanding, especially if we can articulate our points clearly.

A good example is marriage or falling out with a friend. If you have an argument with someone you care about, the goal should be to understand the concerns that they have, and help provide a middle ground, not to win the disagreement. Being able to understand their concerns will deepen and strengthen the relationship. It can help both of you work through issues, while acknowledging and showing respect.

This approach can sometimes change you for the better. If you can understand that you are not totally all-knowing in your beliefs, you might come out of it a better person. This will equip you with knowledge for any future situations you find yourself in.

You may learn things about people or ideas that you would otherwise never have noticed. It can give you a more complete view of the world and how you behave in it. You may also learn things about yourself that you didn’t know!

Certainly, conflicts in life are rarely resolved by one-track minds. Not only that, but there’s a fair bit to learn from at least attempting to understand things from other peoples’ point of view. You don’t necessarily have to agree with their take on things but seeing things from their perspective definitely helps with self-awareness, which is something that benefits everyone.