Reading to the end of a well-written article on Victorian antiques featured in our local daily newspaper, my eyes popped in mid- paragraph as I read,
“nothing makes me so sad as when I go into some little old dear’s home…”
Not only was the woman in question referred to as “dear”, (see my article, “Don’t Call Me Dear”) she was further insulted by the use of one other cringe-worthy adjective, “little”. The ”old”, I decided, could stay. It was the only acceptable term in the whole reference.
The article was most likely written by a younger person; a capable journalist, no doubt. I have no desire to follow this up with phone calls to the paper, or letters to the editor. None of these strategies have worked in the past—and this might not either—but it might have a wider reach.
I did wonder, though; How many sets of eyes had skimmed that article? How many people had read and proof-read that entry? The reputation of the paper is good—errors are seldom found. But of course, the text, and the terms it contained, would not be considered an error. Nobody, in that up-to-date, bustling, environment would pause over that piece and think, “Is this an appropriate way to describe an older person?”
Well, of course it isn’t. But young people can’t comprehend what is so insulting about the use of these words—they might even consider them “terms of endearment”. Nobody is enhanced by being called “little”, not even children over the age of three. Addressed as “little man”, or “little girl”, most children would rebut with, “I’m not little, I’m big now!” When I taught young children, I was always careful to avoid using condescending or “cute” terms. I knew they didn’t like it, and neither do we!
Seniors need to be constantly vigilant about how they are addressed. There is tremendous power in the language people use about us. Beng addressed as “dear” suggests that the speaker can treat you as an intimate friend without asking permission. Being called “little” does nothing less than make a person feel small and unimportant. Used in addressing old people, both terms are insulting
The word, “belittle” is too close a cousin to “little” to ignore. Take a look at Webster’s definition:
“Belittle”: To make (someone or something) seem unimportant.
Example: “This is not to belittle his role.”
Synonyms: disparage, denigrate, rundown, deprecate, depreciate, downgrade,
play down, trivialize, minimize, make light of, pooh-pooh, treat lightly, scoff at,sneer at
Enough said, don’t you think?