It’s finally happening. After decades of long hours and hard work, it’s time to hang up your hat and retire.
As retirement approaches, you can’t help being excited. That is, if you really want to be retired. For most people, it’s a positive, transformational, life-changing experience, and the longer you have worked, the more meaningful it is. However, like in all changes in life, you will go through some stages, so it’s best to be prepared.
First Stage: Anticipation
You’ve been dreaming of this moment for as long as you can remember! This is the pre-retirement phase. This phase takes place over several years before you retire from your career. It’s like a trance, pleasant and dream-like, and so far away there is no feeling of stress or urgency.
But for some people, me included, you might experience a mixture of excitement and fear whenever you think about it, a thrilling shiver. The specific definition of that feeling is a frisson, a feeling you might have just thinking about a roller coaster, whether you love it or fear it. You can feel a frisson whether you’re scared or excited; its meaning lies directly between thrill and fear.
Second Stage: Actual Retirement
Now that retirement is upon you, you can’t help but wonder what life’s actually going to be like. It’s good to remind yourself these changes will be gradual—remember it’s a process.
The day I retired from a long career of teaching, I couldn’t even lie down, much less sleep. I remember sitting in a large, overstuffed chair in our living room, telling my husband I’d be in bed as soon as I calmed down. But I never made it—I ended up staying in that chair all night, finally welcoming the dawn and eventually getting up to face the beginning of my retirement.
I soon realized that everything had changed. My routines, my daily concerns, my thoughts, everything was different. Mostly, as I began to relax, I realized I had been stressed and overwrought for a long time. I had chosen to end my career in the hardest position I could find, the one with the most challenges, working with autistic teenagers who could become violent at the slightest provocation.
Now, I was in the process of ‘coming down’, like coming down from a bad acid trip. It took me weeks to regain my balance. As I did, I wondered, will retirement really be the sunshine-and-rainbow-extravaganza that society suggests it should be? Or was there a possibility that I would be disappointed?
People told me that there might be a downside. After all, of the 34 million retired Americans, almost 2 million suffer from depression, many of them retuning to work because they simply wanted something to do!
Third Stage: Disenchantment
Once the emotional high of retiring has worn off, and the honeymoon phase is over, many people feel a sense of despondency and disillusionment. This stage of retirement occurs when the initial excitement wears off, and you may experience feelings of boredom or disappointment. This can sometimes lead to depression, as you might feel retirement is not living up to your expectations.
If you’re on the cusp of retirement and having feelings of doubt, here are some things that you can do to gain assurance and feel more secure about this stage of your life:
- First make sure your finances are in order. This will give you peace of mind.
- Decide to retire in stages.
- Set goals, short term, and long term.
- Establish a daily routine.
- Maintain a healthy diet.
- Stay active, exercise several times a week.
- Get out and enjoy nature.
- Maintain a strong social life.
- Travel, if that appeals to you.
- Start a new hobby.
- Get a new, part-time job.
- Practice gratitude.
- Give back to others.
Fourth Stage: The Stability Phase.
The final stage of retirement brings feelings of being contented and happy with retirement and your new life. You may find yourself settling into your new routine and lifestyle, doing things you love that make you feel fulfilled. You have a new sense of purpose and identity. Your prevailing mood will be one of enjoyment and appreciation of life!
What worked for me as I embarked on my new retired life was to be occupied and busy. Of course, there is ‘being busy’ doing purposeful, enjoyable activities and there is ‘being busy’ doing meaningless things just to fill the time. Some people do fall into the trap of frenetic activity, a way of filling the vacuum after retirement. It may take them some time before they stand back and assess what they are doing, which is being busy for the sake of being busy.
Thoughts That May Help:
Here are some quotes by people who are much wiser than I am:
“Life Is What Happens While You Are Busy Making Other Plans” – John Lennon
“I wanted to figure out why I was so busy, but I couldn’t find the time to do it.” – Todd Stocker
“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.” – Charles Buxton
“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.” – Lin Yutang
“A bee is never as busy as it seems; it’s just that it can’t buzz any slower.” – Kin Hubbard
“If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.” – Will Rogers
“If you win the rat race, you’re still a rat.” – Lily Tomlin
“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” – Socrates
“Doing is often a subconscious escape from being.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
“Being busy is a disease of our time.” – Pedram Shojai
Thank you for this piece, Diane. It is, indeed, timely for me since I have recently retired, after nearly 50 years of work. I am thrilled and excited and, frankly, a bit exhausted, so I’ve decided to take a “rest period” for a few months or even for as long as a year…just to let the dust settle before making an honest assessment of where I’d like to put my energies. I’m lucky to have many interests and a second, part-time “career” s a yoga teacher. But the landscape looks open and full of possibilities, so I will take my time. Your suggestions, I think, will be most helpful and inspiring.
Marin, it’s so great that you have a second career and many other interests. Do take your time with deciding what to do next. Eventually, it will become clearer to you as your future unfolds. I’m so impressed with the length of time you have worked! What an achievement!
I’m hesitant to say exactly how delighted I am in retirement because the young ‘uns would hate me. Because it’s just stunning — the fact that every day I get to sit home and still draw a “paycheck”?! Although I did happen to publish 8 books since retiring…
Lynne, I have followed your career and, of course, read your books. You have been my inspiration. Good luck with whatever projects lie ahead!
Marin, it’s so great that you have a second career and many other interests. Do take your time with deciding what to do next. Eventually, it will become clearer to you as your future unfolds. I’m so impressed with the length of time you have worked! What an achievement!
The blogging gremlins caused me to post my response to Marin twice. Apologies all around!
Many years past retirement, I can say I have loved every minute of it.
Me as well. I retired several years ago, and am enjoying life to the ‘max’! I don’t miss working, although I really loved my job (teaching). I know that I don’t have the energy I had at that time of my life, so probably wouldn’t be able to keep up!
Exactly!
I retired after a several of careers (read serial monogamy/careers) and now we just finished a move. The move feels so much the same as what retirement felt like. Everything is changed. We’re happy but my internal gps is quite stunned by the different surroundings, and accents, etc. I retired from our home of 27yrs. 😶
I was forced into early retirement due to health issues in the 1990s – I wasn’t near retirement age at all – and it was said I’d never return to proper living – in early to mid 2000, things changed but then later in nearly 2010 things went backwards again.
I found a “love” – not a person but a doing object – and that has sustained me for many years until this year, when I felt I needed to step back a bit – I’d take our NZ winter off and think about things – winter arrives next week, so you can see I’ve still got a few month of “thinking”.
I don’t need to work my super payments come in every fortnight and I can sustain living within that – and actually I’ve been doing a few things of late that aren’t related to art – which has been fun
Congratulations on recognizing that it was the right time to retire! I retired early also. I had worked a long time, and was ready for retirement! It seems that you have created a plan that will work for you. Thanks for reminding me about your seasons, and how they are different from ours!
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