Every once in a while, I feel my appointments are running my life—I keep a calendar on the side of the fridge, where only I can see it, yes, it’s the old-fashioned kind, a page ripped out of a giveaway calendar, but it gives me a clear view of the appointments I make, the commitments I have, and the days that are relatively ‘free’.
This week, however, things have gone south, and I can hardly see any spaces on a page that bristles with things I have to do! Generally, I’m a bit more organized, but for the past few weeks, I’ve been preoccupied with spring, and the beginning of gardening.
So on Monday morning, as I emerged from my dreamy Sunday, a day we reserve for a long walk or drive and a leisurely dinner, I could only stare at the calendar in disbelief! There was an appointment for every single day of the week, sometimes two, and three on Thursday!
There was an appointment for a dental cleaning, a visit to the doctor to update my prescription, a long-delayed chiropractor appointment, a meeting with our tax accountant, a scheduled haircut, and a commitment to accompany my husband to a consultation with a specialist. There were also two evening events, a professional gala my step-daughter has every spring, and a regularly scheduled evening of entertainment my husband performs at a retirement residence.
And there were other things I planned to do as well, spend a morning with my daughter working in her garden, write a chapter in my book, catch up on reading and commenting on posts from my blogging community. Take a deep breath, Diane, I said to myself, and get this handled.
Is it Wednesday already?
It’s no surprise that here I am, on a Wednesday, staring at my calendar in dismay, wondering if I’ll have any time to smell those flowers I’m so busy growing. It’s clear I won’t, unless I wrestle my calendar into some semblance of order. The first thing I need to do is make a plan.
I took to the web to look for help, and found several sites offering tips on how to work less and play more, good information, but mostly written with working people in mind:
But then, I came across Jo-Anne Lema’s The After Fifty Living blog, Great Tips for Managing Time in Retirement. Lot’s of useful information there. She says:
“Time is our most precious resource. It is the most valuable thing we have. It is perishable, it is irreplaceable, and it cannot be saved. It can only be reallocated from activities of lower value to activities of higher value.”
Comfort Keepers, a site for caregivers, offers detailed and helpful ideas in an article, What to do? Tips for Senior Time Management, saying:
“Senior citizens may have fewer demand on their time, but they still have a lot on their schedules.”
Advice from someone familiar
Finally a surprise and real treat, finding a familiar name from the blogging community, Tom Sightings, with some excellent advice!
Here is an excerpt from his common-sense post, which gave me the inspiration to relax and let go, resting assured that it would all get done, in the end!
“Be flexible. You might not need a set schedule for everyday chores. So instead of planning out the housekeeping or gardening, just tackle a few tasks when you’re ready, knowing it will all get done in the end. Also, give yourself permission to move an activity from today’s list to tomorrow, next week or even never if you realize it’s something you really don’t want to do.”
With that advice in mind, I looked at the possibilities and made a few phone calls—soon my week looked a bit more manageable. Now, why didn’t I think of that? Tom also suggests making a weekly schedule of predictable activities, and from there, a more detailed, daily list, always remembering to maintain a broader view. He says:
“Keep things in perspective. Time management in retirement does not mean rigorously blocking out every minute of the day. It’s more about setting goals and priorities, then making sure that you accomplish what you set out to do.”
People who are still working think that time management for retired people should be easy, even unnecessary. I’m very careful about saying I’m busy, when I’m with younger people. They usually give me a withering look, and say, “But you’re retired!”
What they don’t understand, but will someday, if and when they retire is that, with no clock to punch, and no one telling us what to do, the temptation to over reach is strong. It takes real discipline and long-range planning to take an overall view of retirement life, and to block in time for fun, leisure, and yes, ‘smelling the roses!’
I rarely have appointments to keep and my diary simply gives birthday and other significant alerts so that I can call the person up to greet and wish. I rarely have to make any commitments either as I am just too old! Considering my status of a wise old owl, people ring up in advance to ask if they can come and when and that is always a pleasure. I simply cannot make long term plans even if I want to considering my health issues. I am one of the truly “live from day to day” specimens.
I have all the time in the world to smell the roses indeed. And that too whenever I want and not when the roses happen to come by.
You are one lucky guy! I am forever practicing mindfulness to smell the roses. I am still in the full time workforce but my husband is retired which makes for an interesting mix. We still have too many appointments and a too long of a “to do list.” Thanks for the encouragement.
Agreed, Linda! Rummuser has it down pat!
You’ve reached such a happy place of freedom from commitments and obligations—I envy you! I like your method of keeping a diary of only happy occasions such as birthdays. Hmmm, I should take a page out of your book!
I think a lot of it is simply unconscious. Our culture conditions us to keep busy. From the time we start school, right through our school and college lives and all the way through our working lives we are expected to ‘produce’ and ‘achieve’ for eight hours a day. We even have common sayings like ‘the devil finds work for idle hands to do.’ All the way through three quarters of our lives we get rewarded for being active and productive and chided for ‘slacking’. So is it any wonder that by the time we reach 65 we are so thoroughly conditioned to this way of being that we continue to fill every waking moment with some kind of purposeful activity? Even now, after more than two decades of retirement,I still find it easier to sit in the chair with a library book on a Sunday than I do on a Monday. How daft is that? A lifetime of conditioning is hard to undo.
I’m in that ‘two decades of retirement’ phase as well—you’d think I would have learned to relax by now! I seem to wind myself up on Monday mornings, and keep going full speed ahead right into Friday! Thanks, Marian, for helping me put it into perspective!
How many time have we all said: I’m so busy in retirement, I don’t know how I ever had time for a job! But … that’s a good thing, I think.
Yes, I hear that a lot among my retired family and friends—and everyone seems so surprised at how quickly the time goes! Hope you didn’t mind my quoting you in the article. It was so appropriate! Thanks.
I love to look forward to things. I do note appointments but otherwise try to stay in the moment doing more what I want to do. Of course then there are the days I organize every minute because I’m in the mood to do so. I am retired, my spouse is still working, my mother who lived with us is no longer alive and, of course, the children are grown and it takes planning to go and visit any of them. Also, I am not writing a book…so I’m as free as ever. I guess I tend to think of my life as full rather than busy. But I sure can relate to busy…know the feeling well. Thanks, for the post.
I like the word ‘full’ rather than ‘busy—a much more positive connotation, Alexandra!
What a surprise to find that time management becomes more difficult after retirement. Thanks for all the great reflections
It may not be true for everyone, but it is for me. It’s just my makeup—there have never been enough hours in the day for me, and life may not be long enough either—who knows?
Hi, Diane – This post strongly resonated with me. I love the quote from Jo-Anne Lema, and the tips from Tom Sightings. These are all great pieces of advice and help to make my overbooked calendar seem more doable.
Donna, it’s no surprise that you are on the same track as I am—to quote Alexandra (see her comment here), living a very ‘full’ life! I think it has to do with the large family I have, and the many relationships I have accumulated over the years. But really, I wouldn’t give any of them up, nor would I change a thing about my life. I’m tremendously healthy, and seem to be able to manage everything. By the way, mindfulness and meditation do help with stress management—those practices keep me grounded.
I haven’t had a “to do” lists in years. I have “possibility” lists and for the most part do them when I feel like it. Appointments sometimes intrude, but I minimize them as much as possible. I figure my primary job is to be a good example for Kaitlin, which means showing that old age can be a joyous time. It works for both of us. 😀
Kaitlin will no doubt benefit from your example. You are lucky to have a minimum of medical appointments—pays to take care of your health!
One approach to time is to mark off the time you want to leave unscheduled–make that the basis of your days. Then schedule around the (important) “free time.”
Scheduling around ‘free time’ is brilliant, Barry! This way, spending time on ones’ passion is assured. Thanks!
I keep up with several groups of good friends. Recently, all of us in one group complained about appointments: dentist, doctor, hair dresser, accountant, all the things you’ve mentioned. I’m going to have to check some of the references you’ve listed here.
When you factor in the time spent making the appointments, the time spent getting there and, if you drive, the time spent finding a parking spot, not to mention sometimes having to wait for your place in line, the hours spent are phenomenal! I used to make several appointments in the same day, but find that now, that approach is too tiring. So I try not to get too cranky about this, since there doesn’t seem to be much I can do to change it!
I would agree that Rummuser has it made and his retirement schedule is the: “cat’s meow!” But to each their own – I believe in “To-Do” lists primarily because I like scratching items off at the end of the day (those tasks I actually took care of) and well, those that continually show up usually get tossed due to the thought process I have that if it continually showed up on my list of things to do – and didn’t get done – it must be one of those – “Yeah, I’d like to do this but in the long run – do I actually have to do it now that I am retired…I think not and off the list it comes.” At our age, life is what we make it and well, I am for making it as easy as possible as long as I continue to take care of both my health and mental well-being. Thanks for sharing.
Good thoughts, iglengel! At my age, having made lists all of my life (with a variety of outcomes!), I simply cannot be separated from my lists! They give me the illusion (or delusion) of having some control—at any rate, I’m more comfortable if I have a list to work from. So I’ll keep on doing that, but I will do some ‘pruning’ of the tasks that go on them!
😁😉
We keep a paper calendar too. Before each new year, I purchase a new calendar book; the kind where a full month appears on a two-page spread. On it goes all appointments, events, travel schedules, etc. At the end of the year, I file the book away. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve referred to prior years’ books to remind myself when something happened. The system works well for us. The only problem is feeling overwhelmed when I look at the calendar and there are too many things listed… like this month. Yikes!
I like the idea of using a two page spread—and keeping it for reference! And Janis, the problem of feeling overwhelmed is real. Life seems to be more complicated as I age! Thanks for your thoughts!
Appointments ? … No problem ! … Mostly I leave it to my wife’s 85 year old brain which still functions in a world of pens, pencils, note pads, diaries, any old calendars and fridge magnets. What would I do without her ? … 🙂
…and what would you do without fridge magnets, I ask you?
Your post came at a time when my calendar looked very full! I followed the advice and cancelled out of a few things that weren’t REALLY necessary. Now I feel better. Thanks!
“Keep things in perspective. Time management in retirement does not mean rigorously blocking out every minute of the day. It’s more about setting goals and priorities, then making sure that you accomplish what you set out to do.”
Good advice. I think that concentrating on what’s important in life is the way to go. The less-important things have a place too, of course. And there’s plenty of room for them.
Bye till next time, Diane.
Neil
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