You are on the right track if you think financial well being should take center stage in your retirement planning. However, the other part of the retirement equation, what to do after you retire, is equally important.
There’s nothing quite like the feeling you have on that first morning you wake up and realize you are retired! Like most people, you haven’t had much time to think about it—every minute has been taken up with the winding down process—the clearing of your desk, the papers to be signed, the ceremonies and parties to attend.
Now that all that’s over, you allow yourself a long, luxurious stretch, and step out into your retirement future. It might hit you right away, or it may take a few days, but sooner or later, you are going to ask yourself, “What now?”
None of the seminars or presentations addressed much beyond financial planning. Nobody took you by the shoulders and advised you to peer into the abyss, known as ‘the rest of your life’.
Throughout this glorious first morning, you are suddenly aware that the world as you knew it, is going on without you. All of the noisy, busy activity of your previous life, the emails, the phone, the messages, have become silent. All of the things that dominated your life in the marathon race that lasted for decades are gone. Everything seems on ‘pause’.
#1 Taking the traditional route
You make coffee. You pick up a handout that was included in your reitement package. What to do after your retire, it says, and you open it in anticipaton of some complete, secret solution. But all you find is the same old suggestions you have heard before:
- volunteer
- join a walking or gym group
- stay socially connected
- learn to golf or play bridge
- learn a new language
These activities don’t attract you. Studies say that if you didn’t do something before retirement, chances are you will not want to do them now. Friends and family make suggestions, but none of them ‘grab’ you, and days pass in a haze of self-doubt, with options that make you recoil, like becoming a store greeter (you would hate that!), or a shelf stocker at the nearest supermarket (you just can’t visualize it).
This is a crucial period in your post retirement life—too much time alone, or out of the mainstream, you fear, may be making you feel disconnected, or start to doubt your decision to retire at all.
But what if you had planned this part of your retirement? What if you attended seminars or hired a retirement coach who prompted you to explore your deeper feelings, even delving into your childhood to discover a long held, but neglected passion?
#2 Getting professional help
Some retirement experts advocate this approach, claiming that a retirement coach can help clients overcome their fears and view retirement as a transition into a new and exciting phase of life—a bridge to proactively prepare for the next decades.
Life Coach Hub Ltd. is available for this type of service, saying:
Coaching guides you through all the new choices you have to make. It helps you deal with issues like:
Overcome negative beliefs about yourself
Deciding if you want to live in a new location
Losing contact with work friends
Feeling unproductive
Coping with loneliness
Finding new interests and hobbies
Developing your relationship with your spouse or partner
Hmmm. That sounds like a good option, but for some people who are not ready, it may be too good to be true. Even if you went about this carefully, and with expert guidance, you may find that you can’t come up with any meaningful input, or that the process misses the mark entirely.
#3 Doing nothing
So meanwhile, several weeks into your new life, you find yourself feeling vaguely unfulfilled and restless, but you stay in the game. You find ways to fill your time—babysitting your grandchildren, puttering around the garden, taking up the cooking and shopping duties, or watching daytime television.
What you may realize, as your pent-up urgency decreases, is that you are doing exactly what you should be doing. The one thing you must remember, while you are in this stage of limbo, that it is a stage. Although you may feel that you are wasting time, you are actually marking time until you have an insight, a period when mental clarity is restored, and you are ready for inspiration.
Here’s where to start
- A good place to start would be a long and relaxing vacation, no long flights, no sightseeing, no companion travelers, and no problem solving about your future.
- Throughout this stage, develop a mindset you couldn’t indulge while working—call it ‘spacey’ for want of a better word. Spend your time daydreaming, and dwelling on positive thoughts—believe that self-fulfillment will come.
- Listen to your heart, not your mind. Allow your wise, inner voice (We all have one!) to speak to you when you are ready to listen.
- Avoid planning long range activities. Leave a space in your life for inspiration!
How will you know when you have found what you are looking for? When you find that strong sense of purpose—it will be powerful, and it will be the last thing on your mind before falling asleep at night, and the first thing you think about in the morning!
Very informative. My sixties have been a time to create a new vision for what I want my life to be — and you’re so right, that didn’t come right away. I like the way you write about the different stages, because retiring is a process. I’m going to forward this article to a friend of mine who is retiring this year . . . and she is grappling with everything you’ve talked about here. Nicely stated. Thanks.
Thanks, Stephanie. Most of this is a no brainer for someone who has retired looong ago! But it’s good to have a refresher, and try to inform people like your friend, who is retiring soon!
Well said and all true. I retired from my corporate job 20 years ago to peruse my passion for writing. So I was lucky to know where I wanted to go. But a big part of finding my way through that maze was paying attention to the people I met and the clues they left me to find my path forward. Keeping an open mind to all possibilities and listening to the message universe is sending, is key.
We’ve traveled a similar path in our retirement experiences, Pat. It took me a bit longer, though, since it is only in the past three years that I really began to seriously write! So glad that life finally gave me the push I needed!
This is timely. I am feeling “underwhelmed” in retirement. Am thinking that it is a pause, and hopefully inspiration will come as I do nothing.
I’m wondering, as I read this, whether I’ve given you enough guidance in my article. I just came across another writer’s article this morning, that fills it out a bit more, so I’ll find it later this afternoon (I’m off to an appointment) and email it to you. Thanks for the comment, and welcome!
Hi Lorene…I just have to say that in my experience, inspiration doesn’t just hit you. I believe you have to go find it…dig for it.
I agree that you need to expand your horizons, explore, take in all sorts of things…but most of all, once you have done this, you need to relax and leave a space for it. Thanks, Pat.
This is the article I talked about this morning. Joe Casey writes a humorous and very instructive article about how to do the planning part of retirement. Read it—you will LOL! http://www.boomingencore.com/are-you-headed-for-zombie-retirement/
I enjoyed this post. I’m watching my husband go through his early weeks of retirement. He would probably still be working however has some vision challenges. I think that adds an additional layer to the adjustments. I have been reading blogs, books and studying the financial aspects about retirement yet am not quite ready to take the plunge. I realize that the “what to do” is a big element for me even though I have several hobbies, etc. I just feel that there is no going back once I make the decision so I want to be sure and I want to be prepared.
Yes, Linda, the ‘making sure’ part certainly applies to the financial readiness. But as far as finding something meaningful to do, or even ‘finding your passion’ is concerned, you really don’t have to feel that you only get one try. You may not have meant that, but that’s how I read it. It has taken me years to find the one thing that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning, and get going! I tried at least six or seven other things before I got to this point. One other thing I learned along the way—retirement can last a long time. There is no need to pack it all into the earlier years.
I’ve had no problems. I’ve always been interested in personal growth, so when I retired I started teaching classes at the local community college and led groups about various aspects of it (all without charge for me, although the college did charge a nominal fee). People thought it was a big change from physics and computer programming, but it has been my lifelong interest. I also volunteered socializing and training dogs at the local animal shelter so they would be more adoptable, was a photographer for the local senior center newsletter for a while, made videos for the local public access TV station, taught religious education at the Unitarian Church, etc. Then I discovered blogging and fell in love with it. Yes, no problem here.
Your path was very similar to mine. I enjoyed all of the activities I ‘tried out’ those first few years, but it wasn’t until I started to write seriously that I felt really inspired!
Saying I fell in love with blogging gave you the wrong impression — it implies I wasn’t as inspired by the other things I have done since I retired. As for writing — it has been an important part of my life for over 50 years. The night I retired I spent a couple of hours writing. Happiness as a spiritual practice has been the main theme of my life since high school and knowing how to keep inspired is a crucial part of it. It’s powerful stuff, and very flexible. 🙂
Well, you have done a lot, CM, but it does seems that writing comes up as an important thing to ‘do’. Your deeper work in spiritual practice is, as you say, very powerful, and probably the focal point of your life.
Hi Diane! You offer some excellent advice here for many people–especially those who have been working in a traditional occupation for many years. I do agree that taking some time to pause and adjust is critical. If you haven’t been accustomed to being self-directed, it can take some time to find your place. Fortunately, there are LOTS of blogs that are popping up every day that ask and help answer the many questions that people have. Being patient with the process and loving the “journey” can be fun! ~Kathy
The internet is a huge help for people entering the planning phase of their retirement, and that goes for all parts of the process. I’s probably the case that people in business, who have been self starters, would find planning the ‘what to do’ phase a lot easier!
I had no choice, and I wasn’t even at “retirement age” – health issues forced me to become unemployable and I must say, in some ways that is probably worse. Because you keep thinking “I will get better…and go on to become a human being again”.
But I haven’t had that option because when things were “better” my options had gone, because I deemed to be “past my use by date” and of course, anyone looking at my CV/life knew something could easily go “off-edge again”
I did however, have a craft which I could spend time doing – very slowly of course, as a/ I wasn’t all that better and b/ I had no rush. Now I’m finding new ways to make art…but I have no expectations that anything will be profitable.
Oh, and btw I’m now in the actual retirement model with the gov’t super popping into to my account fortnightly. Even though it’s not mega-bucks it’s enough…
So glad that you have relief from financial worries in your retirement, Cathy. Good luck with your work in art—it’s a blessing to be gifted in artistic ability! Don’t rush it, just let it develop!
Strangely enough, my biggest lesson in retirement is that it is OK to do nothing 🙂
I agree with you, I had to keep reminding myself I didn’t HAVE to be doing something constructive, it was my own time to do with as I pleased.
I’m hoping, macmsue, that you are having a satisfying retirement!
I’m glad you appreciate the beauty of doing nothing, Derrick! But we all know, from your blog, that you are a very active guy. It’s possible that you are very efficient, and get a lot done in the time when you are not ‘doing nothing’!
I have whole days where I do basically nothing – sometimes because personal issues force that upon me, other times because “well just because” – I’ll be horizontal most of those days, getting up to search the fridge…
the days I leave the house to wander and wonder about…my only big effort is to climb onto public transport, amble about, eat on the run (buy something and sit somewhere outdoors)
In my case, the retirement from a business life was thrust on me by my late wife’s illness. I had to wind up my very lucrative occupation and become a full time caretaker when I was mentally and physically at my peak.
In retrospect, I believe that it was a very good thing that it happened as since care giving was not really a full time occupation in the sense that I had to be doing something for her all the time, I had to find things to do whenever I did not have to do anything for her.
I began to read and attend classes on matter spiritual as well as started practicing regularly a regime of meditation and exercises that continue till date. I also subscribed to a number of magazines and newspapers and started to solve crossword puzzles every day. Being a member of the local chapter of our Alumni Association meant coming across many like qualified younger people who were looking for mentors and I happily obliged. That has been a very satisfying activity.
Today, I find my life quite active and I resent anything that disturbs my routine. Unavoidable going out of the home makes me edgy and I am always in a hurry to finish what I have to do and return to my comfort zone.
Others, not forced by circumstances to retire can do all the things that I do to keep myself occupied or at least some of it and develop other interests.
So that’s how you developed your rich spiritual life, Rummuser. I admire the way you are so spiritual, and yet so intellectually engaged during your retirement. I share some of that discomfort when I leave the house to run errands, or keep social commitments. In my case, I think it’s my introversial tendencies!
This is one of the main reasons that my guy says he’ll never retire. According to him, his interests are his consulting work (which he loves) and me (which he also loves). 🙂 But I certainly will not keep him entertained when/if he retires; I’m too busy with my writing career. Every once in a while he wonders if there’s something he’d like to do, and comes up with the answer, No. Reading/gardening/hiking are short-term solutions. So perhaps he’s found the answer – never retire.
Well, that made me laugh! And no, you must never promise to be responsible for someone’s happiness—no matter how much you love him! He will have to dig deeper to come up with a satisfying long term solution!
Well done! Another insightful article and inspiring responses. As for me, I was forced into retirement following a nasty stroke. Now that I’ve learned to walk all over again, now what? I remembered a wise saying: “look for opportunities”… Leaving the field of commercial refrigeration behind proved to be a serious challenge. However, why waste precious energy trying to recapture something that is now only part of my past? This is the perfect time to do what I always wanted to do, I told myself. I took some singing lessons! Wow now that’s different I said. 3 years later I share the stage with well known performers and participate in community events, fund raisers and seniors’ entertainment.. I enjoy my life so much more than I did when I was working. I found my voice and carved myself a new career in which the reward is so much greater than just money. George Burns used to say: ” Age is a matter of the mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter “..
I love your comment, Peter, and being familiar with your singing voice, I am sure that it was the right path to take! You manage to overcome the difficult challenges fate gives you. That is so inspirational to me, and to others, I am sure! I enjoyed seeing your performance last summer in Oak Bay!
I feel a need to hurry to figure things out because every minute that passes is precious . Your perspective made a positive impact on me……anticipating a sense of purpose. I have been trying so hard to find it. Retired for 3 and a half years. Maybe I can relax more without guilt and something will bubble up more easily. I’ve tried numerous things………
Sometimes, trying to do something backfires, and we find we are no further ahead. I agree that every minute that passes is precious, and you might find it works better just doing that—appreciating the minutes, then the hours, and so on. The sense of urgency you are experiences is stressful, and only produces anxiety. Just speaking for myself, I found, in the early period of my retirement, that I needed to find peace and acceptance first, and the purpose came later. I was retired for over ten years before I finally discovered what I really wanted to do. It took patience to make myself relax and just let it happen. Of course, trying different things out is part of the process, so you need to do that too.
Thanks so much….
I’ve been retired now for 15 years and have never needed any kind of advice on how to plan my life after retirement. I am not a gregarious person and certainly not a ‘joiner’, although I did join a golf club to keep active, but found that Jean-Paul Sartre was right when he said “Hell is other people”. I have a couple of hobbies and am an expert at ‘pottering’. Although we don’t get about much anymore I’m still happy just being at home with my wife of 56 years. I guess that I am just a very lucky old codger.
You are blessed! I read your blog regularly, so am familiar with some of the things you do. Sartre was a great student of the human experience!
I’m in despair . I have a tedencyto depression in spite of antidepressants and retirement has caused it to flare as I am so unoccupied . I have no talent for sewing knitting or indeed anything resembling craft or creativity . I loathe exercise for its own sake tho I do strength training twice a week . I sleep too much and the less I do the less I want to do . I love looking after my grandchildren but this an infrequent pastime . I feel guilty all the time I am so unproductive. I am not going to do anything to devastate my family but really death can’t come soon enough
All of the platitudes about finding your passion, and working towards optimal health, and even extending your social network won’t help you at this point, Lynn. And you must be tired of everyone telling you to get counselling, which would help, if you had access to it (and could afford it). So all I will say, is suggest that you see your doctor to check if you have an underlying health condition, or are deficient in some critical vitamins and minerals, begin to keep a daily journal about your feelings and reactions, count the good things in your life (there are some!), and take one hour, one day at a time. Sleep when you need it, and do not go off of your antidepressants without doctor supervision. Your job right now is to feel better. Feeling guilty is futile, and will not help. Take care of yourself, and have faith that the cloud will lift.
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