Can Fashion Make Up for the Loss of Youthful Appearance?

Coco Chanel once said,

“You can be gorgeous at 30, charming at 40, and irresistible for the rest of your life.”

While this seems a tad unrealistic, it would be comforting to know that something, at least, could be retrieved of our youthful appearance as we age. While we acknowledge that the glow of youth is gone, we would gladly accept attractive, or stylish, or even remotely appealing at this stage in our lives.

Although many of us feel vital and relevant, and happy with our private lives, we can’t ignore the fact that we are marginalized and less visible publicly. This doesn’t matter to everyone. In fact, many mature women would say they couldn’t care less about losing their youthful appearance. But some don’t take kindly to being ignored because of that—and they don’t accept the assumption that older women are automatically colorless and frumpy. It’s demoralizing and just feels wrong.

Do we agree with the way the media sees us? Do we accept the complete loss of our youthful appearance? And are we ready to roll over and say ‘goodbye’ to our physical appeal?

It’s not what we want, according to Alyson Walsh. Claiming that her style blog, That’s Not My Age, is “for every woman who refuses to be invisible”, she says:

“The majority of women want to look good, regardless of age.”

So if you are dissatisfied with the view of older women in the media and in life generally, and think that changing your style might make a difference, here are some suggestions for you:

Don’t compare yourself to the celebrities

Don’t take the examples of Helen Mirren, Joanna Lumley, Joan Fonda and Joan Collins too seriously. Use their images only as a suggestion of what is possible, given the advantages they have—professional style consultants and enormous wardrobe budgets. Remember, they are paid to look good, and they only show us what they want us to see.

Don’t take your style cue from the Millennials.

Young people have fresh faces and firm bodies, which compensate for whatever outrageous clothing they may choose. They are just beginning to develop their style, and being cool is the only guideline they have. Imitating their look is disastrous for mature women, and that includes jeans with holes in the knees!

Do clean out your closets

Admit it. We all have items in our closets we can’t part with. Every year we pull them out, try them on, heave a sigh, and put them back again. There will always be something wrong with them—our bodies have changed, or the style has changed too radically, or they don’t flatter our skin anymore. So start a ‘memory box’, give them one last fond look, and get rid of them now, or put them away until you can bear to give them away later. Keep the rest, and work with them.

Do wear clothes that fit

Pay more attention to this then anything else. Clothes that are too tight or too revealing will not make you look younger or slimmer. But don’t cover yourself up with loose, baggy clothing. They will only make you look boxy and larger than you are. Be critical about fit when you are choosing new clothes—and be prepared to enlist a seamstress is you like the item, but aren’t completely happy with the fit. Keep in mind that if your clothes are comfortable, you will feel more ease and confidence while wearing them.

Do pay attention to balance

It’s a simple rule: If you are wearing tight bottoms, you can wear a loose top. If you are wearing loose bottoms, go for a structured top.  Orly Schwartz, a stylist/wardrobe consultant at an agency based in New Jersey suggests:

“If going with a voluminous or roomy sweater or top, make sure to balance it with a tailored or slim-fit bottom. The same is reverse for a wide bottom — wearing a fitted or tailored top creates balance and allows the oversized piece to be the focus.”

Do wear the right colors

Years ago, we went through a procedure called ‘draping’ Remember that? This was meant to determine your skin undertones, and to find out what flatters your skin, and what colors drain you. It still works. But don’t rely on the discoveries you made years ago—your skin has changed, so you may need new tests.

And if you choose to experiment for yourself, here’s some advice from fashion icon Honey Good:

“With the right makeup, we can drastically change our physical appearance. Embrace flattering hues of peach and pink on the apples of your cheeks. Don’t be afraid to opt for a bold lip. Line and fill your brows… After all, they frame your face! Embrace color and be bold.”

Be careful with clothing from a different era

As the years slip by, we tend to keep some favorite items in our closets, reluctant to let them go. There is a fine line between elegant vintage and clothing that looks like something you just couldn’t bear to toss. For instance, a jacket, sleeve, or pant shape that has not been around for a while, and doesn’t fit in with the rest of your ensemble can sometimes scream “outdated”. There is a danger in looking like a relic, when you wear one. But the old adage that if you wore it ‘the first time round you shouldn’t wear it again’ doesn’t always apply. Some people have a talent with clothing from another era, and can carry off that perfect “vintage look”, but if you’re not one of them, leave vintage alone.

Do wear the right jeans and leggings

By all means wear leggings, remembering to pair them with a looser top. Here’s a quote by style consultant Jodie Filomogo, writing for Sixty and Me, who talks frankly about how to wear them:

“Most women feel better if their tush is covered when they are wearing leggings. Thus, tunics are the most common pieces to wear with any type of legging item. One of the reasons that I think this is so beneficial for us older women is the fact that a tunic can hide the belly that we complain about at this age.”

And here’s what she says about wearing jeans:

“Most women I work with end up buying their jeans too big because they worry they will otherwise be too tight. And having your jeans even just one size too big tends to make you look sloppy. Having a saggy butt in your jeans can be just as bad as leaving the house in your pyjamas. It makes it look like you don’t care about your appearance!”

And a personal note:

Writing this article has been an eye-opener for me. I realize that I haven’t seen the inside of a style shop for years! This, I acknowledge, happened as a direct result of setting up my blog three years ago, and discovering the perfect outfit for writing—sweats! (not a girl’s best friend!) So this week, I’m planning to revamp my wardrobe, taking my own advice about discarding or giving away everything that doesn’t look or feel right.

I’ll also take the advice of the many fashion bloggers I’ve read, who say that your opinion about how you look is the only one that counts, that you should wear what you want, and what feels right. There’s a confidence that comes from knowing that if you respect what you see in the mirror, and feel good in an outfit, little else matters.